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I still can't really decide if I want to use this to just to post about my day to day life for records sake, or if I want to use this page to journal and get my thoughts out of my head. Maybe a train of thought about that might be a good start.
On one hand I want to just have it as a record of day to day life, memories, lists of books i read or want to read, etc. Something mine, my own little quiet corner of the internet, with that nostalgic old school feel that i maaaybe could show to my friends if I wanted to.
On the other hand, it would be nice to have a space to get my mess of thoughts out, so I could try to make sense of them, and I love the almost intimate, semi public feel of blogging sites like this. It feels not quite as bold as a social media account, just quiet, and small, and a space where its easier to shout thoughts into the void without the judgement of family or coworkers or people you might not be so comfortable sharing those thoughts with. But then, while that would make the page more personal, I wouldn't be able to show it to my friends. Which I kinda want to, maybe. Or my boyfriend (maybe hi, myBoyfriend).
Also while getting thoughts out on paper sounds good, I think faster than I can write, so it ends up being illegible and ugly, and distracting from the very point of writing to get thoughts out. So, "why not just use a word document?". I don't know, it doesn't have the same feel. I might just keep those 'therapy session journal-ings' here too, but on private. I don't know. But yes. I think, for now, I'm going to keep it as a record of my day-to-day life, and general thoughts, that are NOT so embarassing and private that I'd be unwilling to show this to anyone. So here goes it.
9/10/10
I had a really, really nice weekend. My boyfriend came down on Friday, and we went to see some friends on Saturday, and then we spent Sunday together doing not a whole lot of anything. And it was very great. My boyfriend (lets call him Rubik)), Rubik, has had a pretty stressful couple weeks recently, so on Friday I cleaned the apartment, and made it as cozy as I could, I got us a bunch of snacks, lit fairy lights, and picked some cozy movies we could watch. So we did that, and it was a really lovely quiet way to spend the evening.
On Saturday we went to our friends birthday party, most of which unfortunately I spent very out of it and feeling like I had trouble connecting with anyone or even not feeling very real. Which, to me, isn't too unusual. But I didn't cry this time, so that's something. (I've been trying to figure out some emotional issues i've been having. It's nothing to do with my friends, they're all fantastic people.)
Anyway, we stayed over until Sunday, and Sunday was perfectly fine. We all went to get breakfast, to a pastry shop, and then to a game shop. It made me think I might want to get into painting figurines, but not the Wargammer ones, I want to find a brand that does either cute little monsters or maybe real animals. Especially if I can find a brand that does arthropods AAA that would be so cool. When we went to the bakery, they had the coolest pasties I've ever seen. They didn't look real, they looked like some food straight out of a Ghibli film. So I got myself and my boyfriend a raspberry croissant, and some little chocolates.
Speaking of Ghibli films, me and my boyfriend watched a bunch over the weekend, and I can't believe I haven't bothered to watch them earlier. I think part of me assumed that they were over-hyped by everyone, and were probably good, but not anything too fantastic. But I really do love them. We watched Ponyo, Kiki's Delivery Service, and My Neighbour Totoro (but I did fall asleep during some of that). They manage to beautifully capture a childlike sense of wonder, and it makes me so so happy. They're so beautiful too. Oh, we also watched a stop motion movie called The House, which was really good. But as cool as anthologies are, after the first story, I just find myself not being able to focus on the other ones because I'm still thinking of the first. That being said, I did really like it. It was really interesting, and beautifully done and definitely will send me down the rabbit hole of seeing what other internet people think its about. Especially the first part though. The first part was the coolest.
Anyway, on Sunday we got back, and watched more movies, played cards a bit, and mostly just did nothing. And it was a really nice way to spend it. I didn't find myself thinking of work at all, and was nice to feel like we're in our own little bubble, and I felt very loved. Cringe blah blah, but it was very nice.
He had Monday off, so he stayed the night, and it made for a much nicer morning too. I tend to get up pretty early, at around 7, so that I have about two hours before work to myself, just to watch some stuff on youtube, maybe get breakfast, have a coffee, walk dog etc. But it was certainly nicer to have Rubik there.
Monday itself, was not too interesting. I got a conclusion to one of my projects at work finally, so that was decent. But also tomorrow will be a shitshow at work, because my boss has some very unreasonable demands in terms of the amount of work he expects done. He wants one pretty big project to be done and completed tomorrowm, and well, there's just no way. Surprisingly, I'm not too stressed about it. Maybe because it will be me, and 2 other people that will be dealing with it. But either way, I have found myself pretty emotionally detatched from work recently, which I think is good. I enjoy the work, and I care about it, yes. But I'm also not too stressed or upset about the thought of not being able to deliver more work than is reasonable. I figure, if I am doing genuiely my best, and putting in the effort, even doing extra hours, and that's not good enough... well that's too bad, and maybe they need a better fit. And maybe if they decide it's not good enough, I can find another job. But until then, I'm happy to just do my best.
Now, it's evening, and I'm trying to think of what I want to do. It is 9 already... I don't know if I want to try to do an early night, or play some games or read. I might try to read, maybe. I'd love to do more of that.
Anyway. That ended up being a much longer first post than I expected! But it was very fun to write. :)
On one hand I want to just have it as a record of day to day life, memories, lists of books i read or want to read, etc. Something mine, my own little quiet corner of the internet, with that nostalgic old school feel that i maaaybe could show to my friends if I wanted to.
On the other hand, it would be nice to have a space to get my mess of thoughts out, so I could try to make sense of them, and I love the almost intimate, semi public feel of blogging sites like this. It feels not quite as bold as a social media account, just quiet, and small, and a space where its easier to shout thoughts into the void without the judgement of family or coworkers or people you might not be so comfortable sharing those thoughts with. But then, while that would make the page more personal, I wouldn't be able to show it to my friends. Which I kinda want to, maybe. Or my boyfriend (maybe hi, myBoyfriend).
Also while getting thoughts out on paper sounds good, I think faster than I can write, so it ends up being illegible and ugly, and distracting from the very point of writing to get thoughts out. So, "why not just use a word document?". I don't know, it doesn't have the same feel. I might just keep those 'therapy session journal-ings' here too, but on private. I don't know. But yes. I think, for now, I'm going to keep it as a record of my day-to-day life, and general thoughts, that are NOT so embarassing and private that I'd be unwilling to show this to anyone. So here goes it.
9/10/10
I had a really, really nice weekend. My boyfriend came down on Friday, and we went to see some friends on Saturday, and then we spent Sunday together doing not a whole lot of anything. And it was very great. My boyfriend (lets call him Rubik)), Rubik, has had a pretty stressful couple weeks recently, so on Friday I cleaned the apartment, and made it as cozy as I could, I got us a bunch of snacks, lit fairy lights, and picked some cozy movies we could watch. So we did that, and it was a really lovely quiet way to spend the evening.
On Saturday we went to our friends birthday party, most of which unfortunately I spent very out of it and feeling like I had trouble connecting with anyone or even not feeling very real. Which, to me, isn't too unusual. But I didn't cry this time, so that's something. (I've been trying to figure out some emotional issues i've been having. It's nothing to do with my friends, they're all fantastic people.)
Anyway, we stayed over until Sunday, and Sunday was perfectly fine. We all went to get breakfast, to a pastry shop, and then to a game shop. It made me think I might want to get into painting figurines, but not the Wargammer ones, I want to find a brand that does either cute little monsters or maybe real animals. Especially if I can find a brand that does arthropods AAA that would be so cool. When we went to the bakery, they had the coolest pasties I've ever seen. They didn't look real, they looked like some food straight out of a Ghibli film. So I got myself and my boyfriend a raspberry croissant, and some little chocolates.
Speaking of Ghibli films, me and my boyfriend watched a bunch over the weekend, and I can't believe I haven't bothered to watch them earlier. I think part of me assumed that they were over-hyped by everyone, and were probably good, but not anything too fantastic. But I really do love them. We watched Ponyo, Kiki's Delivery Service, and My Neighbour Totoro (but I did fall asleep during some of that). They manage to beautifully capture a childlike sense of wonder, and it makes me so so happy. They're so beautiful too. Oh, we also watched a stop motion movie called The House, which was really good. But as cool as anthologies are, after the first story, I just find myself not being able to focus on the other ones because I'm still thinking of the first. That being said, I did really like it. It was really interesting, and beautifully done and definitely will send me down the rabbit hole of seeing what other internet people think its about. Especially the first part though. The first part was the coolest.
Anyway, on Sunday we got back, and watched more movies, played cards a bit, and mostly just did nothing. And it was a really nice way to spend it. I didn't find myself thinking of work at all, and was nice to feel like we're in our own little bubble, and I felt very loved. Cringe blah blah, but it was very nice.
He had Monday off, so he stayed the night, and it made for a much nicer morning too. I tend to get up pretty early, at around 7, so that I have about two hours before work to myself, just to watch some stuff on youtube, maybe get breakfast, have a coffee, walk dog etc. But it was certainly nicer to have Rubik there.
Monday itself, was not too interesting. I got a conclusion to one of my projects at work finally, so that was decent. But also tomorrow will be a shitshow at work, because my boss has some very unreasonable demands in terms of the amount of work he expects done. He wants one pretty big project to be done and completed tomorrowm, and well, there's just no way. Surprisingly, I'm not too stressed about it. Maybe because it will be me, and 2 other people that will be dealing with it. But either way, I have found myself pretty emotionally detatched from work recently, which I think is good. I enjoy the work, and I care about it, yes. But I'm also not too stressed or upset about the thought of not being able to deliver more work than is reasonable. I figure, if I am doing genuiely my best, and putting in the effort, even doing extra hours, and that's not good enough... well that's too bad, and maybe they need a better fit. And maybe if they decide it's not good enough, I can find another job. But until then, I'm happy to just do my best.
Now, it's evening, and I'm trying to think of what I want to do. It is 9 already... I don't know if I want to try to do an early night, or play some games or read. I might try to read, maybe. I'd love to do more of that.
Anyway. That ended up being a much longer first post than I expected! But it was very fun to write. :)
